Marriage is one of the major decisions we have to make in our lives. It is a commitment. It is being glued to your spouse no matter what; it is the promise of never leaving your better half alone especially during the hard times;
And the willingness to do these things is being fueled by LOVE – your love for your spouse.
Faith. Love. Trust. Respect.
These are the four important elements of commitment. They all have to be present for in the absence of one, a relationship’s foundation would be weak.
Close your eyes, imagine your husband/wife/partner. Now ask yourself: Do I have faith in him? Do I love him? Do I trust him? Do I respect him?
What’s your answer? Mine is, “I DO”. I have faith in him. I love him. I trust him. I respect him.
Close your eyes one more time. Again, ask yourself the same questions. This time, think about yourself: Do I have faith in myself? Do I love myself? Do I trust myself? Do I respect myself?
What’s your answer? Mine is, “I DON’T.”
This is the problem. This is why we easily give up on ourselves – because we are not committed.
We are not committed to ourselves because we do not respect, trust, have faith in, and love ourselves.
We think so highly about other people but we find ourselves inferior from everyone else.
THIS HAS TO STOP!
You have to get married… TO YOU.
Just like every relationship, you have to go through the following stages:
You have to make yourself attracted with you. It may sound weird but it simply means you need to make an effort for YOU to see yourself as a beautiful person. You have to be the better version of yourself. The type of person that you would want to marry.
2)GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER
Being attracted to someone doesn’t guarantee that you would fall in love. It is superficial. You would only see the qualities which the other person wants you to see and this is not enough. You have to get to know your future partner more. Discover his deepest fears and weaknesses, not just his strengths. This way, you would know which things to avoid doing and which areas he might need your support with.
In developing a relationship with yourself, you have to dig deep. Find your strengths and weaknesses. Use your strengths. Support yourself in your weak spots. DO NOT criticize.
Your partner is obviously just human, which obviously means, he is not perfect. He makes mistakes. There is always something wrong about someone and you can live with that. So why do you find it so hard to live with your own imperfections? You, too, are only human. So don’t be your own worst critic! Embrace both your negative and positive qualities.
4)LIFTING EACH OTHER UP
Do things that will make your partner a better person. It’s easier to love someone who works hard for his dreams. Your partner would not be able to do that if you keep on pulling him down and making him doubt his abilities. Support him in his endeavors and never let him down.
You just have to do all these things to yourself. Motivate yourself. You have to want this. You have to want to leave that dark corner. Do it for yourself. It would be a lot easier to fall in love with yourself if you are working on your dream; if you have accomplished something; if you have a sense of purpose.
5)DEVELOPING LOVE, FAITH, RESPECT & TRUST
If you’ve reached this point, congratulations. The foundation of your relationship with yourself is strong. Stay in this stage long enough to allow these elements to grow and ripen before going to the next stage.
Being married to YOURSELF means you will be there for YOU through thick and thin, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health.
Remember, divorce may be legal in many places, but it is NOT an option when it comes to your relationship with YOU.
It is being glued to yourself no matter what; it is the promise of never leaving yourself alone especially during the hard times; it is going through the stages of relationship over and over again with the same person – YOU;
And the willingness to do these things is being fueled by LOVE – your love for YOU.